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LETTER 148（第1页）

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LETTER148

MARYLAMBTOSARAHSTODDART

[March，1806.]

MydearSarah，—Nointentionofforfeitingmypromise，butmerewantoftime，haspreventedmefromcontinuingmyjournal.Youseempleasedwiththelong，stupidoneIsent，and，therefore，Ishallcertainlycontinuetowriteateveryopportunity.ThereasonwhyIhavenothadanytimetospare，isbecauseCharleshasgivenhimselfsomeholidaysafterthehardlabouroffinishinghisfarce，and，therefore，IhavehadnoneoftheeveningleisureIpromisedmyself.Nextweekhepromisestogotoworkagain.Iwishhemayhappentohituponsomenewplan，tohismind，foranotherfarce:whenoncebegun，Idonotfearhisperseverance，buttheholidayshehasallowedhimself，Ifear，willunsettlehiIlookforwardtonextweekwiththesamekindofanxietyIdidtothefirstentranceatthenewlodging.Wehavehad，asyouknow，somanyteasinganxietiesoflate，thatIhavegotakindofhabitofforebodingthatweshallneverbefortable，andthathewillneversettletowork:whichIknowiswrong，andwhichIwilltrywithallmymighttoovere—forcertainly，ifIcouldbutseethingsastheyreallyare，ourprospectsareconsiderablyimprovedsincethememorabledayofMrs.Fenwickslastvisit.Ihaveheardnothingofthatgoodlady，oroftheFells，sinceyouleftus.

Wehavebeenvisitingalittle—toNorriss，toGodwins;andlastnightwedidnotehomefromCaptainBurneystilltwooclock:theSaturdaynightwaschangedtoFriday，becauseRickmancouldnotbethereto-night.Wehadthebestteathings，andthelitterallclearedaway，andeverythingashandsomeaspossible—Mrs.Rickmanbeingoftheparty.Mrs.Rickmanismuchincreasedinsizesincewesawherlast，andthealterationinherstraitshapewonderfullyimprovesher.Phillipswasthere，andCharleshadalongbatchofCribbagewithhim:and，uponthewhole，wehadthemostchearfuleveningIhaveknowntherealongtime.To-morrow，wedineatHolcrofts.Thesethingsratherfatigueme;butIlookforaquietweeknextweek，andhopeforbettertimes.WehavehadMrs.BrooksandalltheMartins，andwehavelikewisebeenthere;sothatIseemtohavebeeninacontinualbustlelately.IdonotthinkCharlescaressomuchfortheMartinsashedid，whichisafactyouwillbegladtohear—thoughyoumustnotnamethemwhenyouwrite:alwaysremember，whenItellyouanythingaboutthem，nottomentiontheirnamesinreturn.

Wehavehadaletterfromyourbrother，bythesamemailasyours，Isuppose;hesayshedoesnotmeantoreturntillsummer，andthatisallhesaysabouthimself;hisletterbeingentirelyfilledwithalongstoryaboutLordNelson—butnothingmorethanwhatthenewspapershavebeenfullof，suchashislastwords，&c.Whydoesheteaseyouwithsomuchgoodadvice?isitmerelytofilluphislettersashefilledourswithLordNelsonsexploits?orhasanynewthingeoutagainstyou?hashediscoveredMr.Curse-a-ratscorrespondence?Ihopeyouwillnotwritetothatnews-sendinggentlemananymore.Ipromisednevermoretogivemyadvice，butonemaybeallowedtohopealittle;andIalsohopeyouwillhavesomethingtotellmesoonaboutMr.W[hite]:haveyouseenhimyet?IamsorrytohearyourMotherisnotbetter，butIaminahopinghumourjustnow，andIcannothelphopingthatweshallallseehappierdays.ThebellsarejustnowringingforthetakingoftheCapeofGoodHope.

IhavewrittentoMrs.ColeridgetotellherthatherhusbandisatNaples;yourbrotherslightlynamedhisbeingthere，buthedidnotsaythathehadheardfromhimhimself.CharlesisverybusyattheOffice;hewillbekeptthereto-daytillsevenoreightoclock:andhecamehomeverysmokyanddrinkylastnight;sothatIamafraidaharddaysworkwillnotagreeverywellwithhi

0dear!whatshallIsaynext?WhythisIwillsaynext，thatIwishyouwaswithme;Ihavebeeneatingamuttonchopallalone，andIhavebeenjustlookinginthepintporterpot，whichIfindquiteempty，andyetIamstillverydry.Ifyouwaswithme，wewouldhaveaglassofbrandyandwater;butitisquiteimpossibletodrinkbrandyandwaterbyoneself;therefore，Imustwaitwithpatiencetillthekettleboils.Ihatetodrinkteaalone，itisworsethandiningalone，WehavegotafreshcargoofbiscuitsfromCaptainBurneys.Ihave—

Marchl4.—HereIwasinterrupted;andalong，tediousintervalhasintervened，duringwhichIhavehadneithertimenorinclinationtowriteaword.TheLodging—thatprideandpleasureofyourheartandmine—isgivenup，andhereheisagain—Charles，Imean—asunsettledandasundeterminedasever.Whenhewenttothepoorlodging，afterthehollidaysItoldyouhehadtaken，hecouldnotendurethesolitarinessofthem，andIhadnorestforthesoleofmyfoottillIpromisedtobelievehissolemnprotestationsthathecouldandwouldwriteaswellathomeasthere.Doyoubelievethis?

IhavenopoweroverCharles:hewilldo—whathewilldo.ButIoughttohavesomelittleinfluenceovermyself.AndthereforeIammostmanfullyresolvingtoturnoveranewleafwithmyownmind.Yourvisittous，thoughnotaveryfortableonetoyourself，hasbeenofgreatusetome.Isetyouupinmyfancyasakindofthingthattakesaninterestinmyconcerns;andIhearyoutalkingtome，andarguingthematterverylearnedly，whenIgivewaytodespondency.Youshallhearagoodaccountofme，andtheprogressImakeinalteringmyfretfultempertoacalmandquietone.Itisbutbeingoncethorowlyconvincedoneiswrong，tomakeoneresolvetodosonomore;andIknowmydismalfaceshavebeenalmostasgreatadrawbackuponCharlessfort，ashisfeverish，teazingwayshavebeenuponmine.Ourloveforeachotherhasbeenthetormentofourliveshitherto.Iammostseriouslyintendingtobendthewholeforceofmymindtocounteractthis，andIthinkIseesomeprospectofsuccess.

OfCharleseverbringinganyworktopassathome，Iamverydoubtful;andofthefarcesucceeding，Ihavelittleornohope;butifIcouldoncegetintothewayofbeingchearfulmyself，Ishouldseeaneasyremedyinleavingtownandlivingcheaply，almostwhollyalone;buttillIdofindwereallyarefortablealone，andbyourselves，itseemsadangerousexperiment.WeshallcertainlystaywherewearetillafternextChristmas;andinthemeantime，asItoldyoubefore，allmywholethoughtsshallbetochangemyselfintojustsuchachearfulsoulasyouwouldbeinalonehouse，withnopanionbutyourbrother，ifyouhadnothingtovexyou—nornomeansofwanderingafterCurse-a-rats.

Dowritesoon:thoughIwriteallaboutmyself，Iamthinkingallthewhileofyou，andIamuneasyatthelengthoftimeitseemssinceIheardfromyou.YourMother，andMr.White，isrunningcontinuallyinmyhead;andthissecondwintermakesmethinkhowcold，damp，andforlornyoursolitaryhousewillfeeltoyou.Iwouldyourfeetwereperchedupagainonourfender.

Manningisnotyetgone.Mrs.Holcroftisbroughttobed.Mrs.Reynoldshasbeenconfinedathomewithillness，butisrecovering.Godblessyou.

Yoursaffectionately，

M.LAMB.

["Norriss"—RandalNorris，sub-treasureroftheInnerTemple，whosewife，néeFaint，camefromWidford，whereshehadknownLambsgrandmother，MaryField.

CaptainBurneyswhistparties，inLittleJamesStreet，Pimlico，were，asarule，onSaturdays.LaterLambestablishedaWednesdayparty.

OfMrs.BrooksIhavenoknowledge;norofhimwhomMaryLambcalledMr.

Curse-a-rat.

"TheCapeofGoodHope."TheCapeofGoodHope，havingbeentakenbytheEnglishin1795fromtheDutch，andrestoredtothematthePeaceofAmiensin1802，hadjustbeenretakenbytheEnglish.

"Mrs.Holcroftisbroughttobed."ThechildwasLouisa，afterwardsMrs.

Badams，oneofLambscorrespondentslateinlife.]

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